Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
