Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
