Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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