With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dignity is for republicans.
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I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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