Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
