im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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