you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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