I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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