I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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