Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
