Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
