she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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