her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize