Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
