dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
