sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it hurts more in the daytime
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
