the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
