Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at about main and main street
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
