Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
