Swine flu. Run for my life!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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