Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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