Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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