plz talk dirty to me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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