Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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