I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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