Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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