I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
