I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
