Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Mom said you looked used
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
