I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I checked into jail on foursquare
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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