dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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