Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
