Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.

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(805): View more from California

My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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(812): View more from Indiana

We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.

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(239): View more from Florida

He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"

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