It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
