1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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