Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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