You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
