I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
