dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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