mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
