dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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