and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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