DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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