I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
