somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize