it wasn't lemon gatorade
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
stop calling my apartment porn island.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
