Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
