New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
