escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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