sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
