Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
