I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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