Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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