those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
