He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize