it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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