remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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