the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dear god my vagina.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize