We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
