I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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