So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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