My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
