Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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