Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
