Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
